I was watching Parenthood last night, which is one of my all time favorite shows, and there was a part where Julia and Joel were sitting on the couch and she was apologizing to him for going off on him before. But she started talking about how she didn’t think she was good at being a stay at home mom, she was overwhelmed or bored and it wasn’t fulfilling to her. Joel responded in a way that was great, he said for the first time, she had free time and to enjoy it. Now, her kids are older and in school half of the day, but I get a few minutes here and there sometimes. I guess it just really resonated with me because Brent and I have had that conversation so many times. I am always looking to hear that I’m not crazy and that everyone goes through it. I don’t think I am one of those people who was just automatically great and fulfilled in the stay at home mom role. I didn’t ever have a big important job position or make tons of money, I just usually had jobs that I really enjoyed. Especially once I found the veterinary clinics, I found my calling and thought I would be doing it forever. Maybe if I had hated my job it would have been easier to transition to staying home. Either way, it took me a long time before I really started enjoying myself and my kids. I would say like ten months maybe? Before I wasn’t missing work and the interaction with co-workers and clients. I had to try hard, stay busy, and be creative with my kids. Go on so many play dates and really bond with other moms. I think that was the factor that really helped me was to make friends. Living here in Oklahoma, it was hard to meet people, because in Texas I had a huge support system and lots of friends who stayed at home. It seems like its harder to make friends the older we get, maybe because we get so much more picky about who we want to be around. But I did, and I love the other moms that I know now.
Anyway, I read so many blogs and articles on how to keep your sanity when you are staying at home. They helped in some ways, but I really just had to find my balance and self-worth on my own. I stay so busy now that its hard to get everything done, but I feel a sense of importance. I like having my husband depend on me for certain things, the way I depend on him financially. And he never makes me feel inadequate. He is so amazing and supportive of me.
Onto the Elf! Last night Holly took a ride around our living room on one of Hadley’s horses! Hadley came running in our bedroom and said, “Mom! Did you see the elf? She’s riding my horses!!” She was pretty excited, and then the questions started. “How did the horses get down there? They were on my shelf. When did she come back from the North Pole? How does she get in our house? Did she climb on that horse or jump?” I was trying to think of really creative answers.
Heading back our for the day, I’ve finished almost all of my Christmas shopping, and it isn’t even December yet!! This is a first for me for sure. Picking up Hadley from school and then to the gym, as well as grocery shopping.
I’m making stuffed bell peppers for dinner tonight, with lots of veggies mixed in. I think they are going to be pretty delicious, we’ll see if Brent will eat one. He is not a fan of bell peppers but said he would try it.
Excited to head to Dallas this weekend!!!